2 posts tagged “love”

Exactly a week ago I wrote my best friend T a letter saying that I needed some space from him and he ultimately ended our friendship right then and there. I figured he would have reacted poorly to my letter but I never expected a comment like, "Have a nice life." Just like that, the friendship was gone.

The back story behind this is that for the last 5 years that we've been friends I had always had a thing for him. We talked all day every day for years. It became increasingly hard to handle my emotions as the years progressed. I shared my feelings with him and was rejected several times because he didn't want to "ruin the friendship". I guess I had always figured that some day he'd come around. In between that I had quite a few boyfriends but still, a big part of my heart belonged to him. I knew it wasn't healthy and it was holding me back from truly being happy but it took years for me to finally be strong enough to make the decision I made.

As I told him in my letter I was roaming around myspace and I clicked on one of his friends. I looked at her pictures and I saw a picture of him biting her neck or something along those lines. The way I reacted when I saw that picture, was not the way a friend should react. At that moment, I knew that this was becoming a bigger issue than I had originally thought so I needed to stop letting him consume my all of my time. All I meant was that I just needed to not talk to him all day every day because it made getting over him impossible. After that, things got ugly.

He accused me of snooping (which in my defense, I hardly think clicking on one of his friends profiles hardly constitutes as snooping) and gave me an earful about me not being okay with him having friends that are girls. That's not the case but of course I know he was just reacting to the situation because he was hurting. I don't that he will ever know or realize how much it hurt me to have to go to those measures but again, I need to think about myself for a change.

So that was that. The end of an era. The end of Yim and Yen. The memories will always be there but now, it's time for me to be brave, hold my head up high and move on.